Life is funny. Just when you think you have it all figured out something happens to change it all. A lightbulb goes on in your head and you see things in a new light. Change can be scary. Very scary. Going outside of your comfort zone is...uncomfortable. It's hard to challenge the status quo. All these worries enter your mind. You can lose confidence in your decision. You ask yourself will all of this be worth it in the end. It takes a lot of courage to take that leap of faith. To not care about what people will do or say. There are times when you want to throw it all away and go back to the way things used to be...except once you make the decision to change, there really is no going back. The decision sits in the depths of your mind, ready to remind you of it's existence when you least expect it.
I have recently found that the hard decisions I am making are in my best interest. They make me want to cry and scream. They make me want to crawl under rock and not come out, ever. They make me question my worth. They make me question my future. They make me think outside of my comfort zone. I don't like to be uncomfortable...I don't know anyone who really does.
They make me think.
I have been doing a lot of thinking lately. Reflecting on my life and on my future. It can be painful to look back. However I am finding that when I do look back I am encouraged to take the next step into my future. I have found the courage to "Go confidently in the direction of my dreams and to live the life I have imagined". I am finding my authentic self. Seems to be the rage these days. It's liberating, discovering myself all over again. Perhaps this is my mid-life crisis (I would be thrilled to live until 83!). Whatever it is I am looking forward to the second chapter. I am excited to see what it brings. I am ready to take the next step into the uncomfortable to come out the other side with a happier and more fulfilled soul.
I am committed to my future.
"Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and your plans will succeed." Proverbs 16:3