Tuesday, May 24, 2011

When the other shoe drops it should be a stiletto

Wow another unpredictable week blindsided by MS.  This week, in what seemed to be a split second, the shoe that has been in the back of my mind dropped.  I was overcome with weakness, had difficulty walking, and that damn dreaded MS "hug" reared it's ugly head.  I felt deceived, cheated and angry all in a split second.  I had a false sense of security.  I knew that shoe was deep inside waiting for an inopportune moment to drop.  I just did not think it would be NOW!  I had a great winter.  I had some fatigue and minor complaints, but all in all I felt good!  I trained for my half marathon.  I was a fundraising maniac (if I do say so myself).  I have been in high gear all year long.  I was walking tall and feeling good.  I was focused on change.  I was focused on my future.  I was focused on me!  Then out of thin air she comes back to try to steal my joy.  I am reminded again that MS will always be a part of me, whether I feel great or like shit or somewhere in the middle.  Like obstacles in life that everyone faces, it is what we do to move forward to get over that stumbling block that counts, not the obstacle itself.  I decided today that I am picking myself back up after a pity party and a little bit of a "why me" session (yeah I went there this week).  Today I am getting back to those boot straps and lifting myself up.  Up out of the dark place my brain drifted to over the weekend.  Once I am back on my feet I am going to drop the boots on my own terms and put on a pair of stilettos.  We only go around once in this life.  We all know it will be shorter than what we would like it to be.  So I am dusting off my fancy high heels.  I am going to climb this obstacle and get to the other side.  Then I am going to strap on my stilettos and live my life.  I am going to live it knowing that when the next pair does drop, on this road or a different one in the future, I am going to tackle it on my terms.  You know a girl can never have too many pairs of shoes, right?!?!


  1. great attitude you go girl

  2. You're the best, Jo!!! :) I'm so happy you were able to work through this and come out on the other side stronger than ever!

  3. Your attitude is really inspiring. Thanks for the post.